There are times in life when the notion that God never gives us more than we can handle is severely called into question. We are coming out the other side, I do believe. But it has been a trying few weeks.
We stopped homeschooling. We prayed about it and discussed it and felt it was the right decision. Autism/ADHD is a challenge. Depression is a challenge. Together plus rowdy little ones and homeschooling became too much. It is a decision with deep disappointment and sadness for me. A grieving to the death of the life I imagined and desired. But maybe it is the grieving that leads to a greater appreciation of the life we have been blessed with.
My husband found a lump. Scary for anyone. Terrifying for a person hoping for continued remission from cancer. We didn’t even need to discuss it to know that we couldn’t tell our families. We couldn’t terrify them until we knew what we were dealing with. We fretted all weekend. Got an appt for Thursday. Asked prayer from a few trusted people. But that day would not be as simple as getting an answer.
Tuesday, Joseph and Katie Rose had well child appts. They were coughing and sniffling a bit. I explained that I wasn’t sure if we had a cold or mutual allergies. They got lots of medicine for ear infection and bronchitis (or something like bronchitis).
Thursday morning about 3 am, John Micah woke complaining of a headache. At 6am, he was vomiting and having trouble breathing. I was worried about missing an IEP meeting for our oldest. My husband went to work as I gave breathing treatments and tried to get him to drink a few sips. As Mike came home to allow me to attend the IEP, I had decided this was a dangerous situation so as I headed with our youngest to the IEP meeting, I instructed my husband to get JM to the ER now. He admitted later that he doubted me. He wondered if it was just a stomach bug or something. After getting to the ER and hearing the nurse practicioner’s prediction of pneumonia, he was reminded “momma knows.”
I got to the IEP meeting and resolved to sign forms and get through it as quickly as possible. I was relieved when she told me she had basically copied his IEP from last year when we had planned to go to middle school but went back to homeschooling instead.
She told me how well he was doing. He was charming and making friends. He impressed his teachers and was flourishing in honors classes. She said that she told his teachers, “That’s a lot of momma right there!”
And that’s where I lost it. All the sadness and grief and worry and pride and relief flooded me. I explained through my tears all that we were dealing with in health scares and how relieved we were that David was doing well. She printed off the forms I needed to sign, promised prayers and got me out quickly.
The rest of the day became a balancing act. How to get kids from school, get Mike to his appt, and stay with JM in the ER? JM ended up being admitted. Mike got some words of comfort but a scheduled test to confirm for the next day.
I stayed with JM in the hospital. His oxygen levels kept dropping that first night so another day in the hospital. Mike’s test was at 3pm so it had to be moved to the next morning because one had to be with JM and one had to get home for the bus. Yay for tests on Saturday. I got the kids off the bus that day when I went home to shower and nap a bit. I threw a load in the wash to work while I rested and made Rice Krispy snacks for the kids. Amazing how 1 hr in your own bed is more restful than 5 hrs in a hospital bed.
On Saturday, Mike had his test and had to get to work so I had all five children in the hospital room. Late that afternoon, we were discharged and we got medicines, donuts and Redbox movies. Came home and reveled in bubble baths and the comforts of home.
I had started with a sore throat Saturday. The headache and cough worsened. Tuesday, I walked to the mailbox and threw up when I got back home. Tuesday and Wednesday I lost my voice. Today I feel better other than a throbbing headache so I am hopeful this is the end of it.
We got the official news yesterday that the lump was just fatty tissue. Nothing to worry about. So grateful for the prayer warriors that had our backs through this.
One thing that was a great help is that I had started dividing outfits for kids into Hefty 2.5 gallon bags; shirt, pants, socks, underwear with the name and day of the week. Even doing it for myself, cleaning clothes for Monday, outting clothes for Tuesday, etc. I wondered if it was silly when everything only took a moment to grab from drawers and closets. However, my husband really appreciated the convenience of that. I couldn’t have predicted the hospital stay. But having things in order even possibly obsessively so in some areas gave our frenzied minds one less worry or challenge.