Love in the home

So No One Notices

26 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment

by loveinthehome in Uncategorized

I’m saying this resolution every morning as an effort to make these words of wisdom part of my character. Several of them make me say, “Ouch!” because of how closely they hit home. Today I’m gonna share my thoughts on #7

Only for today, I will do at least one thing I do not like doing; and if my feelings are hurt, I will make sure that no one notices.

Yesterday, we were walking and one of the boys stepped on my heel. Now normally, I would have said, “Owww!” and turned around to warn them to watch where they were going. But a voice in my head said, “Make sure no one notices.” Now a scraped heel is nothing. But it got me thinking about how we want people to know how much they hurt us.

Now let’s review reality for a second. If we interact with other human beings, we’re gonna get hurt. And we’re gonna deal out our own share of hurts. We are fallen human beings. We misunderstand. We prioritize our lives wrong. We are selfish. And we all hurt the ones we love.

So what comes from making sure the other person knows they hurt us? Maybe we want them to feel guilty. Maybe we want them to feel like they owe us. Maybe we want to vent our frustrations and man, they are just the person that deserves to hear it. Maybe those are some of the many possible reasons but deep down, I think we just want the hurt healed.

So what will heal the hurt? An apology? Now a good heart-felt apology can go a long ways towards restoring a relationship. But just as kissing my kids boo boo doesn’t really heal their physical hurt, an apology doesn’t really heal an emotional hurt. In fact, most aspects of our relationships will not change in any way after an apology. Because we’re still the same people after as we were before.

The moment when relationships change for the better is in my experience when we make the decision like we did with our son’s autism. To say if this is as good as it is going to get, we’ll be ok. We love you. We’ll stand with you. We’ll forgive you. Because our Savior’s love is enough to cover all our weaknesses.

The only way to heal our hurts is to take it to our Great Physician and Healer in Jesus Christ. He’s waiting for us to bring all our burdens to Him and He’s the only one with the power to heal them. So making sure no one notices saves our relationships from the unproductive confrontations, stress and time wasted looking for healing where it can’t be found.

So that’s my thoughts. My prayer is that God empowers me to put these resolutions to practice in my life on a daily basis.

Not Super-Mom

09 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment

by loveinthehome in Uncategorized

I’m working on a fundraiser for St Jude so I needed the networking abilities of Facebook. So I’m spending the remainder of Lent giving up TV/Netflix. Still keeping away from Facebook games as well.

Had to go to the hospital yesterday and admit that I’m not Super-mom. Doctor’s orders are simply to get more rest. It’s hard to let things go and worry about catching up later. Especially after I have drilled it into my head that it is easier to keep up than catch up. And I hate to have the focus on my needs when Lent is supposed to be about denying self. But of course, there is a reason that nursing moms are not required to fast and abstain from meat.

How do you balance everything with a new baby and not have too much fall through the cracks?

The garden isn’t going to be added to until after Easter. Shouldn’t have to tend too much to what is already planted other than making sure they don’t get too dry.

No organization projects til May no matter how desperately needed.

The only activities outside home need to be limited to church and karate. And coordinate any other errands with those outings.

Try to keep meals as simple as possible but cooking for more than one meal at a time to have leftovers as much as possible. I have a turkey to cook for Sunday. A big job but able to get lots of leftovers from the efforts.

Sundays are for attending Mass and sleep. Take literally the day of rest.

My older boys are 8 and 7. My 7 yr old really wants the video of Robin Good and his not-so-merry men by Veggie Tales. So I’ve given them a list of ten activities to do every day. Five chores and five school activities that they earn 10 cents each for. I would normally help with picking up and putting away, taking out the trash and cleaning the table but delegating those responsibilites allows me to focus on dishes and laundry. That’ll keep things from getting too messy.

So my job is simply baby, meals, sleep, dishes and laundry. Maybe writing it down will help me stick to it.

Spring is on it’s way

05 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment

by loveinthehome in Uncategorized

I am so excited over our garden this year. Saturday, I was able to get potatoes planted in the boys’ little raised beds as well as 6 rubbermaid totes and large pots. This method of growing potatoes is sometimes done in barrels or trash cans. You keep adding potting soil as they grow to make more and more potatoes. When they are ready to be harvested, I will just pour them out on the bed they are sitting on. Then I’ll be ready for tomatoes, peppers and more.

I also planted some more carrots and onions. I was able to plant more zinnias and cosmos in amongst my pansies. The best part is that the rains didn’t wash away the seeds I had already planted. I have lettuce, carrots and zinnias coming up already. It’s amazing how something so simple can lift our spirits so much. I was so thrilled that afternoon and breezed through the rest of my indoor chores. In less than a couple of months, we’ll be harvesting our own salad fixings, Lord willing.

Happily ever after

03 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment

by loveinthehome in Uncategorized

My life right now is currently revolving around sleep. Getting the baby to sleep. Trying to get both toddler and baby to sleep as much as possible at nap and night. Trying to sneak in naps to make up for my deficits at night. This time will be over before we know it.

There was a neat idea for simple charitable giving during Lent. If you’re like me, you get lots of charitable organizations sending you address labels and cards as free gifts in a request for a donation. On a video about Lent, a priest suggested donating to each one that comes in your mail during Lent. It may only be $5-$15, but help where you can. Also when sending those donations in, remember to put a stamp on your envelope even if it’s postage paid. This cuts down on administrative costs and gets more money to the people that are being ministered to.

I found our two youngest children Easter outfits. The baby’s baptism outfit is just perfect. It’s a romper with a silver cross embroidered on the front. My daughter’s dress is a purple gingham with smocked easter bunny and baskets. Precious! Found them both at a great consignment store nearby.

My prayers have been for broken marriages and families. My brother is going through a divorce. Despite the fact that Scripture clearly speaks against it, divorce is rampant in our churches. Why is that? I think it’s complacency for the most part. We say that divorce is a bad thing but acceptable in some situations. It’s the same sort of complacency that has church members saying that abortion is ok in some situations. We are convinced that if marriage doesn’t work that it’s because we didn’t find the “right” person.  When actually it is the process of living, loving and working together that makes us the “right” person.

It’s a difficult subject because most all of us have someone we love that is divorced. I wouldn’t exist had it not been for a divorce. And that leads us to try to excuse divorce in so many situations. But our actions don’t render what Jesus said void. Jesus said that it was given by Moses because of the hardness of their hearts in Mark 10. In Malachi 2, God says that he hates divorce or putting away.

We all want to live “happily every after.” But to do that, we have to be committed to “ever after.” It’s a long time. It takes work. It takes putting someone else’s needs above our own. I’m thankful to be a part of a faith that teaches the truth of Scripture in the toughest of situations but shows the deepest love for those that have had to travel the hard road of divorce. I’m deeply thankful to be married to a man that is committed to “til death do we part.” It’s becoming increasingly rare.

St. Rita was a woman that desired to enter a convent but was instead called to a marriage that was tumultuous and ended tragically with the death of her husband and children. We ask that her prayers be added to our own.

Prayer For Troubled Marriage

O St. Rita,

Make us understand that a vocation is not only a matter of attraction.

Enable us to see clearly that it is also a matter of finding, in ordinary events, God’s will for us and then accepting it even if it seems to be baffling and contrary to our wishes.

Teach those called to the marriage state by the Lord to reflect deeply on the delicate choice that will influence their destiny.

Let them not be deceived by their feelings; instead, let them look for the solid qualities that keep a home united in the joy of the Lord.

Teach unhappy spouses the power of patience and mildness. Let them not give way to discouragement but, like you, let them save both the happiness of their home and the soul of their spouse.

O St. Rita, we pray this Prayer for Troubled Marriage in the name of Jesus Christ, – AMEN

Washed by the Water

28 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment

by loveinthehome in Uncategorized

Tomorrow, my baby boy will be three weeks old. He’s such a sweet baby. He has beautiful eyes that just watch all that’s going on. This week, I am feeling a whole lot better so I’m getting back into the swing of things around the house. I got rid of 4 black garbage bags of outgrown clothes of my daughter and mine. She’s growing bigger and I don’t anticipate having any more babies so I’m getting rid of maternity clothes.

Today, when the baby went down for a nap, I got the other three outside to get our garden started. We planted some carrots, lettuce and zinnias. I’m using the lasagna gardening method. It’s awesome! I feel so empowered that I can layer things slowly when the time is available. And I don’t feel like I’m weeding only for them to reappear a few weeks later. The layers of cardboard, leaves and such have really eliminated a lot of weeds.

As we finished planting, it began to rain. I didn’t realize that the next three days have a chance of thunderstorms. Hoping that it doesn’t wash away all the seeds. It made me think of how the water is to remind us of our baptismal promises. It has been neat to recognize the importance of water in salvation history. The waters came down in the Flood for 40 days and nights and afterwards God made his covenant with Noah. The Israelites passed through the Red Sea before entering the wilderness on a journey that would last 40 years. Jesus was baptized by John the Baptist before entering the desert for 40 days to be tempted by the devil. It is so neat to see how God’s plan unfolded over the course of history.

Temptation, Forgiveness and Renewal

27 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment

by loveinthehome in Uncategorized

I gave up Facebook for Lent. I turned off the mobile notifications and email notifications. Avoiding Facebook has turned out to be the easy part. The temptation is how to fill up that free time. It should be filled with prayer and Bible study. But it is very tempting to fill it with movies, music and other web-surfing. Fighting these little temptations helps to exercise self-restraint, build self-control and eventually perfect self-mastery. Bigger temptations will be down the road. I’m thankful for the season of Lent and the preparation for battles to come.

Forgiveness is another area of focus that is appropriate for Lent. In this process of converting to Catholicism, I have found old grudges and areas of unforgiveness have literally vanished. Even after being done wrong since then, I couldn’t hold onto a new grudge. The funny thing is that I’m not really sure when this change occurred. It snuck up on me. I suspect that it has something to do with letting go of pride in thinking that I have it all figured out. The Lord’s Prayer is a powerful reminder of the importance of forgiveness. Also, the examination of conscience eliminates any illusions that I am in any less need of forgiveness.

One of the suggested penances is to pray for someone you don’t like and that doesn’t like you. Pray for blessings upon their lives. After 40 days of prayer for someone, it would be hard to continue disliking them. People that hold onto these grudges think that by doing so, they are punishing the other person. Not so, it hurts you more than anyone. And I know. I’ve been there and am so thankful to be free from that vicious cycle. This simple practice of prayer could bring about a renewal in our lives.

Another area of renewal is in our homes. The suggestion of clearing out clutter to benefit charities has been on my mind the past few days. I had saved all the little girl clothes just in case I and the ultrasound technician was wrong about our baby being a boy. This week, I’m going to go through all her old clothes. I’ll save a few outfits for her to keep. I’ll save some of the nicer things just in case my cousin and his wife have a little girl in August. The rest will go to the thrift store.